I opened the cupboard door and the metal pot came crashing on my head, banging me in my eye. My head throbbed and I could feel my eye starting to swell. I looked up at the cabinet bursting and wasn’t surprised that the pot fell out. The cupboard was stuffed because I tried to make room for “just one more thing.” Women frequently ask me, “How do I know when to push myself and when to say no?  It’s a good question. I think the answer lies in the cabinet.

If after doing the “one more thing” you feel happy, satisfied, good about your decision, good about yourself – do it. If you feel energy, growth, expansion then the “one more thing” is good. It’s good to push yourself, to expand, to make room for more. Sometimes you can rearrange those cabinets and yes, make room for more. Therefore, if you are tired and you push yourself to get up earlier to exercise, to pray, to make yourself a healthy breakfast and afterwards you feel good about it, you know that you needed the push.

But if the “one more thing,” the extra hour of exercise, the one more volunteer task, the one more hour of work makes you feel irritable, exhausted, frustrated, angry or resentful, then your cupboard is full and you are just hitting yourself over the head. Then it’s not coming from a healthy place-the urge that’s pushing you to say “yes” and here you need to confront it by saying no.