You think that I would get the message, but I don’t and so over and over G-d shows me in an infinite number of ways that I, Elana Mira Mizrahi, am not in control and this my dear friends is very very humbling. I had a week where this message really hit home. I attended two births. Both women were past their due dates and when at last contractions set it and we knew that yes this was the real thing both, like every laboring woman, wanted to know, “When will this end? How much longer?” I smiled, I massaged, I encouraged, “A little bit more and it will be over,” I reassured them.” But really, I didn’t know. I never know. No one does, only G-d.

Birth is a humbling, awesome experience. In ten minutes a woman can open up from being dilated 6cm to 10cm and in ten hours a woman can go from only 1cm to 3cm. There are patterns, but there are no rules.  And at last when the baby comes forth from its mother, there is no one, not a doctor, not a midwife, not a doula, and certainly not the mother or the father who is not completely and totally humbled by the experience. We all saw it birth-leida (In Hebrew) is le yad Hash-m, the hand of G-d and in birth there is no other, only Him.

Following birth there is a tradition for the mother to say Psalm 100, a psalm of thanksgiving.  Of course one feels gratitude upon birthing a baby, but this psalm speaks more than just thanksgiving. It tells us, “Know that G-d He is G-d (meaning there is no other force). He made us His and we are His people and the sheep of His pasture. ..” Birth is a clear revelation of Divine Providence. You see G-d in birth. You know that there is NO other you understand that He orchestrates everything and guides every event and every occurrence that takes place like a shepherd who herds his sheep.

All the birthing courses now available are wonderful-learning to breath in birth, hypnosis in birth, prenatal exercises for birth, etc. I encourage every woman to learn, be informed, and to do as much effort as she can to make her birthing experience easy and beautiful. I myself did and it helped-tremendously. However a woman has to know that you can plan your birth to be one way and it almost never is the way that you plan. In fact I was never at a birth that went the way it was originally envisioned.   Ultimately when the unexpected happens (which is always the case in birth!) the only sure thing that a woman can hold onto is that she’s not in control and that G-d Himself is conducting her birthing symphony.  

The Torah says, “You have been shown to know that G-d, He is the G-d! There is none beside Him (Deuteronomy 4:35).” This verse is not just telling us to believe in only One G-d. We know that there is only one G-d. This verse is telling us to understand and to realize that nothing else exists except for Him and that everything contains a spark of Divinity. However the spark is concealed and our mission in life is to reveal it.

When G-d created man the verse says, “G-d said, ‘Let’s make man in our image, in our likeness…(Genesis 1:25).’” Rashi explains that G-d used term “let’s” and “our” to teach us the quality of humility-that the greater one should consult and take permission from the lesser one and if it had written “I shall make man” we would not have learned this most important trait. 

Birth is from Him and the salvation is from Him. Everything that exists is from Him. G-d created man to reveal holiness. We do this by getting close to Him, by calling out to Him, by knowing Him. We do this by being humble. We were created with the trait of humility, we give birth through humility, and we actualize our potential and ultimate goal through humility.

I say the words of Psalm 100 with the beautiful birthing woman who I am supporting-with the woman who told me that she was sure that the baby would be born early and the baby decided to make his appearance two weeks late. To the woman who wanted a completely natural birth and who ended up having a life saving cesarean.  To the woman who is always late and who at week 38 gave birth in my hands in her bathroom (the ambulance finally arrived ten minutes later). I tell all these birthing women to envision a flock of sheep with its faithful shepherd. “Let go. Let G-d guide you and bring your baby into this world. Repeat after me…”

A song for a thanksgiving offering:

 Shout to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with joy, come before Him with praise. Know that the Lord is God; He made us and we are His, people and the flock of His pasture. Come into His gates with thanksgiving, [into] His courtyards with praise; give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the Lord is good; His kindness is forever, and until generation after generation is His faith.

It’s now the beginning of the week and I open my agenda to see what I have scheduled. I think I have my whole week planned. I think again. Ain od levado “There is none other than Him!” I wonder what He has in store for me for this week and how those sparks of Divinty will be revealed…

I just received a phone call. It was a from a woman who is going through fertility treatments. Her voice was in distress. She had just spent the past month taking hormones. At last a follicule reached a nice big size and it seemed that she was ready to ovulate. Her doctor gave her a shot to release the egg and much to her surprise not only did she not ovulate, but she started bleeding~menstruating. This isn't the first time I received a call like this..."How can it be with hormones and shots that I don't ovulate? How can it be that they don't work...???" 

My heart goes out to her and I reflect how G-d shows us over and over again how we are not in control. Conceiving, pregnancy, birth-like everything in life, but more so in this process, is the time to let go-relinquish control and realize that we are not in control. It's not the medicines, it's not the doctors-we are all just messengers from Above., it's G-d. Pure and simple. He decides, how, when, and where. 


But yes I tell her, it will happen. 

Tali called me Wednesday night. She was already approaching her due date and felt contractions off and on all day. At 9:30 her contractions were 5 minutes apart, she felt unsure of herself and was surprised by the pain. I knew that this was just the beginning and we still had a long way more to go. I told her to take a relaxing hot shower and that we would speak in an hour. I gave her a pep talk, her husband a pep talk and we hung up. An hour later I called her and her husband told me that she was more relaxed after the shower. Great, maybe I would get some sleep???

At 2:30 AM Tali woke me up. Nothing had changed except that Tali was getting nervous. This was really just the beginning?  Yes, just the beginning. I told her to go back in the water and that we would speak soon. I couldn't fall back to sleep. My mind was of course on Tali.

I dozed off eventually and woke up with a start at 5 AM. Breakfast and lunches for the kids were ready. The phone rang, Tali's husband. Tali wanted to go to the hospital already. "Nope, not yet. I'm on my way to your home."

By 5:45 AM I waited outside in the pouring rain for the taxi. When I entered he, in a beautiful caring Israeli fashion, yelled at me. "Don't ever enter a taxi from the street. Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"You're right. I'm excited, I'm off to a birth."

"I love people like you!"

The taxi man then told me a bit about his upbringing. He started to tell me pearls of wisdom from the Torah and told me, as all taxi drivers seem to do, how he really was very religious....I found out that his gorgeous mother (he showed me her photo-she really was a beauty!) had 16 children!!! 8 boys and 8 girls, some born in Morraco, some in Israel. At the end he gave me a blessing and told me to pay him 26 NIS, the numerical value of Hash-m (G-d).

When I entered Tali's apartment there was a sigh and look of relief on her husband (I never know who is happier to see me, the husband or the woman in labor...). Tali was on all fours like a cat, supported by a blanket and pillow. She looked fantastic. I'm always amazed by the site of a pregnant woman, a beautiful soul, carrying a beautiful soul.

For the next seven hours Tali and I breathed, I massaged her back and applied hard pressure, we swayed, and prayed. I had Tali go in and out of the water. With each contraction I counted to ten, in a slow steady voice. Between numbers I added, "Open, let go, release, relax, you can do it."

We imaged light entering her body and opening her up for the baby to come out.  

 Words of prayers, words of comfort.

Tali kept asking, "How much longer?" "I didn't realize it would be so hard."

A bit more, you are amazing. We're not going anywhere yet....

By noon Tali's contractions were long and about 3 minutes apart. Tali reported that she couldn't feel the baby moving so much. It was time to go to the hospital.

Once you arrive at a hospital, everything slows down. It's difficult for a woman to maintain her birthing rhythm. "Tali stay focused. Shut it all out, the noise, the florescent lights, the balagon. It's you, Hash-m, and the baby." 

 When we spoke in the childbirth classes that I gave her in the months proceeding her birth we spoke about an ideal-a goal to shoot for, which is to stay home as long as possible and to get to the hospital only at the end...but with first births you never know. They are for the most part long and challenging.

I told Tali not to have any expectations and no matter what her dilation was, she couldn't be disappointed. "Stay focused. Stay intuned to your baby and your body."


The doctor checked her. The doctor was in shock. Calm, composed, focused, Tali, arriving to the hospital for her first birth was already 9.


We were sent to her birthing room and from there, with all the lights, the noise, and the balagon, things did slow down, but as is every birth, it was a miracle and it was beautiful. Tali's Rebbezin joined us and at four o'clock Tali's baby girl was born with a healthy scream and a gorgeous red color.