​A client of mine just told me the news – she’s been diagnosed with stage 1 cancer. She’s in shock. No surprise. She’s scared. No surprise. She’s angry. Why? Because she was doing so well. She cried to me, “I’m actually feeling great.” She never ate so healthy before, never exercised and took care of herself so well before, and now this? It doesn’t make sense. It seems so unfair!

“What’s the point? I feel like giving up. Why should I put in any effort to take care of myself if this is what happens?”

This is what I told her: Nothing is in our control, not even our health. But is it all in vain? To feel good? G-d is giving her a tremendous test. On top of the diagnosis, if she was overweight, out of breath, tired, and prediabetic, would it make dealing with the test easier or harder? Harder, of course.

Is all the work she did really in vain?

If someone gave you a beautiful new dress and a child ran up to you and spilled wine on it, is it in your control? If you are given soap and water, can you try to clean it? Even if there’s a wine spill, should you yourself take a pair of scissors and slash the dress?

Does one bad cancel out all the good? Keep doing what you can to feel and be healthy. It’s never in vain.

The holidays are fast approaching. There’s so much to do. I know that you are thinking, “How in the world am I going to get through this?” No matter what stage of life you are living (and I do hope that you are living and not just passing through that stage!) no doubt that there is so much to do and it’s overwhelming.

How can you take care of yourself and do “self-care” when you have so much to do and to take care of?

The first thing to do is to close your eyes for one minute and remind yourself why you are here and why are you so busy. A woman who can stay focus and remember her goals and her mission in life, she already feels calmer and is strengthened by this goal. Remind yourself that this busy time – it’s only once a year. G-d will give you strength. You have to tap into Him though, in order to bring that strength down. Second – anything that brings you closer to your goal, keep doing. Anything that furthers you from your goal, stop. Focus on one thing at a time, one task at a time. Get as much help, any help (that’s real help) that you can. Humble yourself. You don’t have to be perfect, nor should you. Third – take a break. It must be for at least once a day. Even for 10 minutes. Close your eyes. Read. Exercise. Do something for your physical health and something for your mental health to keep you on track and feeling strong.