I’ve heard this expression countless times. I’ve said this expression countless times. You know what? It doesn’t help. Telling someone not to get upset or telling someone to relax does just the opposite. It makes them more upset and nervous. An alternative approach is to be with them. Support them. Acknowledge their pain and then shower them with optimism. Positive words of encouragement and hope plant seeds that turn into positive actions and outcomes. Gently remind the person to live in the present, to take each moment as it comes and let them know that G-d never gives a test to a person without first giving them the capacity to overcome it. Challenges are difficult. Life is hard. But we are here in this lifetime for a purpose. We need to grow.
I heard from Rebbetzen Neustat that in English the word life contains the word “if”. In modern-day western thinking we think, “If I have this…I will be happy.” “If that happens I won’t be able to go on.” If, if, if. Our lives are dependent on the “if”. In Hebrew the word for life is chayim, spelled chet, yud, yud, mem. The two middle letters, yud, yud, are a name of G-d. When a person is connected to G-d, then they are alive. You are not contingent on any material item to bring you happiness, only closeness and being connected to the Source. This is growth, this is life, this is happiness.